What I’m Not Doing to Heal My Acne

What I’m Not Doing to Heal My Acne

Last week, every time I looked into the mirror or touched my skin I felt a sinking frustration. I had been running around semi-exhausted, happy and stressed. And my skin showed it.

For context, I’ve had acne since I was a teenager. I’ve tried prescriptions, harsh creams, strict diets, expensive elixirs but none of these solutions have proved effective or sustainable.

Through my own research and through watching the patterns, I am almost certain my acne is closely linked with my hormones and my stress. Fortunately for me, acne is about the worst of my symptoms on either issue. My periods are regular, and never an issue. Besides the acne, crying a lot is about my only other PMS symptom.

What I’m Not Doing to Heal My Acne

So as I watched my skin slow motion erupt I felt so frustrated and honestly hopeless. There was also that twinge of guilt and shame that I was so hung up on something that is so small and aesthetically driven. If my skin is my biggest health concern shouldn’t I just be grateful?

But this is not a woe is me post. In fact, most days I’m overflowing with appreciation that my skin is my biggest hangup. In fact, on the days I’m really flowing in the good vibes I feel grateful that my less than perfect skin is a teacher and a tool to strengthen my self-love and compassion.

What I wanted to share today was a little aha moment I had last week. I shared it briefly on my Instagram stories and realized I had more to say. So today rather than talk about how I am trying to heal my acne, I want to share with you my mindset around my skin [but you can really insert any body hang ups]. I also want to share with you what I’m NOT doing to try to heal my skin.

   

Controlling Your Food Isn’t the Only Option

Over the past couple months of acne flair ups, I realized that I didn’t want to try to control or manipulate the way I eat to help treat my acne. This was a major revelation after years of trying to control and manipulate so many aspects of my health.

I’ve heard so many experts say that you shouldn’t eat XY & Z when you have acne. Yet I realized that rather than try to follow someone else’s advice to a T, I wanted to prioritize the relationship I’ve built with myself, my body and my mind.

At that moment, I realized that controlling food would ultimately do more harm than good. For me personally, I know that if I put restriction the stress of that act, would only make things worse. Even if my skin did clear up to some degree, I would eventually have to come to terms with having “good” foods and “bad” foods for my skin. For me, at this point in my life, it would become a diet. A diet that isn’t intuitive.

I know there are so many voices out there telling us all to eat this and not that and I want to show another option. I realized I would rather deal with the reality of having acne, which is seen as shameful in this society, than control what I ate to try to heal it. As I’m on my acne healing journey it’s so important for the tools to be as joyful and sustainable as the result I’m expecting. Otherwise, it’s just not worth my piece of mind. I believe I can ultimately heal my acne with my consciousness rather than control.

Who is this all for anyway?

A big question I had to ask myself was who is this “perfect skin” for? If it was for me, in order to feel more happy and confident in my own skin, don’t I have access to that at any moment? Isn’t confidence just a feeling? Needing to rely on an external experience to feel beautiful, confident and respected isn’t my goal in this life. Sure I do it all the time, but I want to bring awareness to the fact we all have the power to tap into the desired emotions regardless of the outcome.

I want to show that you can be awesome, sexy, confident, radiant no matter what shape your skin is in [and body of course]. Your skin can be society’s definition of perfect, and that’s great, and it doesn’t have to be, which is also great.

I also know that as I learn to truly love and accept my skin regardless of how many acne marks I have, I can also apply that same power and love as my skin eventually ages. It would be so awesome for my 60-year-old self to not give a single fuck about how many wrinkles she has. I hope she glows from within. To get to that unconditional acceptance and confidence, I might as well get started now.

There’s more to life than making other people feel comfortable

There’s a part of me that wants the perfect skin so that other people feel comfortable. Acne is stigmatized as “gross” and “dirty”. I know there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to “gross” anyone out.

I’m slowly learning (easier written than practiced) that it’s ok to repel certain people. If someone really did think I was gross and judged me only based on my skin and not my good energy and kindness, is that really the person I want to bring into my life? Again, this is so challenging to accept and practice, but I might as well get started now.

If you have acne, I see you.

I want to let you know that if you’re struggling with acne I see you. I really really do. You’re beautiful with it, you’re beautiful without it. Your skin doesn’t define your self-worth. Your skin isn’t broken. It’s working so hard. It wants to protect you. Healing is possible. We can do it together in an empowered, non-restrictive, joyful way. And we can also enjoy the journey too.

If you liked this post you’ll probably enjoy: I Won’t Be Using the Term “Flawless Skin” Anymore

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