New Year Resolutions – Golf Poetry

  NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS SWEAR off pulling, swear off slicing, Swear off ever looking up; ... Read more.

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Buzz Putt Print and Play Game

  Buzz Putt is a print-and-play game about bees playing golf. Or something like that. ... Read more.

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Meercat Golf Figurine

  Meercat Golf Figurine Ridiculous Golf Item of the Week   More Ridiculous Golf Items: ... Read more.

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Aline Golf Shoe Insoles Review

Aline Golf Shoe Insoles Review Aline Golf Shoe Insoles Grade: A/C Teacher’s Comments: An “A” ... Read more.

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What I’ve Learned about Planning an Intimate DIY Wedding

What I’ve Learned about Planning an Intimate DIY Wedding

this post is created in partnership with Wedding Wire

Despite being engaged for over nine months, it still feels a little surreal to be planning a wedding. Who me? Getting married? Whaat? Mostly I’m really joyful and excited. I have a feeling it’s going to be such a special day, yet at the same time, it’s just one day at the beginning of a kick-ass marriage. Having both those things in mind has helped me put this whole thing in perspective.

I love what Chris (my fiancé) said to me, “it will probably be the best day of our lives up to that point, and then the next day will be.” At the end of the day I know I’d be more than happy getting married in a courthouse. I also know I’m going to love this celebration.

To be totally honest I haven’t done a ton of work yet on the details, yet I’m just not that worried. I know it will all work out as it should.

I wanted to share some of my thoughts and what I’ve learned through this process so far. Again, this is my own experience, which means it could overlap with yours or be totally different. My goal is to keep the conversation open and honest about planning a wedding, especially for folks who are doing something a little more low key and want to find some solace in the process.

Our Vision for the Day

Chris and I are just really excited to get married, the rest is kind of icing on the cake… or should I say crust on the homemade wedding pies (neither of us likes cake)? We’re both looking forward to celebrating this new chapter surrounded by people we love. Neither of us is super fussed about details (maybe to a fault).

I declared the vibe as “backyard boho” which basically means a classy DIY feel with lots of loving touches. I’m so excited that so many of my friends and family will be contributing to our day. I want everything to feel purposeful.

What I’ve Learned about Planning a DIY Wedding So Far

the Comparison is Real…

The only times I find myself really getting tripped up, anxious or overwhelmed by the whole process is when I start comparing our wedding to another couple’s. When I look at other people’s days, I get so overwhelmed by their details, the infinite possibilities and everything we won’t have. I start to feel like I’m going to regret missing something years down the line.

I think of it like when you were in school watching your classmates present their final projects and your heart sinks when you see them bring in something amazing to share. Suddenly your work seems woefully inadequate. The reality is that they’re probably thinking the exact same thing about either you or someone else. In this little classroom metaphor, had you been able to present in a vacuum and you knew that you had done an amazing job, worked hard and were proud of what you created, then you’d leave feeling really satisfied right? It isn’t until you start to compare that you feel the “not enoughness.”

It’s All Good

I’ve had to remind myself that a lot in this process. It’s ok if our wedding won’t look like my sister’s (who just got engaged) or that girl I follow on Instagram. It doesn’t make their day better nor does it make our day better. We’re two different couples. Two different love stories, partnerships, families, goals, and visions.

My little mantra for when I get caught up is, “it’s all good.” Sure, we want a really intimate, homemade, low key feeling. However, it doesn’t mean that a more traditional, elegant or larger event is a bad thing. It’s all good. Plus, the really key part of a celebration is the people. I could have the most stunning dress, perfect flowers, and flawless decor, but without Chris and our close friends and family, those details aren’t important. At the end of the day, it really is all good.

Choose Your inspiration wisely

Getting started, I assumed I’d rock a sweet Pinterest board full of tons of really clever cool ideas.  Sorry, Pinterest, I love ya, but for weddings, I’ve been SO underwhelmed. It’s a lot of the same old stuff, nothing really interesting or useful.

That’s where Wedding Wire has come in such handy. The site has been really helpful for planning and inspiration. My favorite tool has been the checklist. As someone who isn’t into planning events or details, it’s been really helpful to have a tool like this to guide me. Plus, it’s really customizable so a lot of the things we don’t need, but we can take it off the to-do list easy.

We’re doing a lot of the details ourselves, but for the vendors we are looking into, they do have a really helpful directory of vendors you can sort through. I also adore their Instagram. I will say, where Pinterest has slacked, Instagram has totally delivered. I’ve started following a ton of wedding accounts and I think Wedding Wire is my favorite one. Again a lot of stuff isn’t really applicable to us, but it does get me excited.

Ditch the rules

This won’t come as a surprise to a lot of people coming from me, but don’t be afraid to ditch the rules. I’ve always been the girl who beat to the tune of her own drum and wedding planning has been no different. Chris is pretty similar in that respect, so we don’t mind ditching a lot of the rule book and traditions that don’t fit us.

This might sound obvious, but I had to come to this realization, your wedding can literally be whatever you want it to be, there are no wedding police. Sure I don’t know your family dynamics, but hopefully, they can understand that it’s not about them.

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It’s ok to ditch the rules and traditions when you’re planning your wedding.
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Ignore Bad/Most Advice

If I took every piece of advice people have thrown out to us, our wedding wouldn’t look anything like us. I’m fully aware that advice comes from a really heartfelt place. People want you to learn from their wins and struggles, which I’m all about. At the same time, I know that advice needs to come with a lot of context. It doesn’t weigh on my mind unless it’s from someone who really knows me and Chris well. I feel like everyone and definitely, their mom has some kind of opinion on weddings. That’s wonderful. We just don’t need to pay attention to it in the planning process.

If you’ve been married I’d love to know what you remember most from that day. If it’s on the horizon I’m sending you all the love. I’m loving being engaged and I have a hunch I’m really going to love being married to Chris. Again, the wedding is just the icing on the cake (or ya, know homemade pies if you’re us).

photos taken at our “venue” aka the road to my parent’s house  

This post is sponsored by Wedding Wire – thank you for supporting the brands that help make this blog possible

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Cobra King F8 Irons

Cobra King F8 Irons For 2018, Cobra has released the King F8 Irons. They feature: ... Read more.

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Confronting Sexism In Golf

  Confronting Sexism In Golf Push-back against the Boys Club mentality which infects so many ... Read more.

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Cobra King F8 Driver

Cobra King F8 Driver The Cobra King F8 driver features: Precision milled face is CNC ... Read more.

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Michigan POY: Patrick Sullivan Is Top Junior Boy

Michigan POY: Patrick Sullivan is top Junior Boy FARMINGTON HILLS – Patrick Sullivan was a ... Read more.

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TaylorMade Tour Preferred Deal On Amazon

  TaylorMade Tour Preferred 5 X Golf Ball The TaylorMade Tour Preferred 5x golf balls ... Read more.

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Golf Poetry: A Golfer’s Hymn

GOLFER’S HYMN A BAG of clubs, a dimpled ball. Fair verdant greens, that rise and ... Read more.

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TENANT PROOF: How to Make Your Rentals Indestructible

Grab five random landlords off the street and ask them:

“Who is harder on their homes, renters or homeowners?”

To say that the poll results would be predictable and one-sided would be a gross understatement.

Tenants simply have less invested … Read More

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Christmas Music From Scotland

I love Scottish Christmas music. As I have written a number of times on this ... Read more.

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Scottish Christmas Music

Scottish Christmas Music. I can’t help myself. I love fiddles, dulcumer, guitar and pipes. Haunting ... Read more.

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Have A Murray Christmas

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Advice On Teeing A Ball – From 1920

From Why Golf?, publsihed in 1920. By all accounts, the wooden golf tee did not ... Read more.

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HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

As another year draws to a close, I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog and, if you are a piano student, have found it useful. Here are the top ten blog posts of the year – many are perennially popular and have appeared on my Christmas ‘favourites’ list many times!

1. How long will it take to learn to play the piano?

2. 10 reasons to play the piano

3. A few thoughts on playing Chopin’s Nocturne No. 20 in C sharp minor Op. Posth.

4. Resolving tension in piano playing

5. Structured piano practice in 5 simple steps

6. 10 tips to seriously improve your piano playing in 2016

7. Why is Grade 5 theory important?

8. 9 top tips for practising octaves

9. A few thoughts on Beethoven’s Fur Elise

10. Contemporary piano music?

The most popular post of all (How long does it take to learn to play the piano?) has been in the top spot every year since this blog’s inception. It’s clearly an important question, to which there are many answers! If you would like me to write on a particular piano topic, you can always write via my contact page (here on the blog). I look forward to hearing from you.

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS

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My Publications:

For much more information about how to practice piano repertoire, take a look at my two-book piano course, Play it again: PIANO (Schott). Covering a huge array of styles and genres, 49 progressive pieces from approximately Grade 1 – 8 level are featured, with at least two pages of practice tips for every piece. A convenient and beneficial course for students of any age, with or without a teacher, and it can also be used alongside piano examination syllabuses too.

You can find out more about my other piano publications and compositions here.

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Golf In The Time Of The Romans Golf Cartoon From Punch

Golf In The Time Of The Romans Golf Cartoon From Punch This cartoon, Golf In ... Read more.

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Ridiculous Golf Christmas Tree Ornaments

Ridiculous Golf Christmas Tree Ornaments There seemingly is no end to the tackiness committed in ... Read more.

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[Enters Trepidatiously] "...Hello? Is Anyone Here?"

Hopefully you're all in the midst of abandoning your respective posts for the holidays, but in case you're still staring at a screen for whatever reason you should know that Outside have deigned to publish my latest column:

Yes, sometimes nothing beats hopping on a bike and knocking around the city:

I stayed off the dirt jumps though:

And with that I resume my absence, and I'll see you back here either next time Outside posts a column or on January 2nd, whichever comes sooner.

May your holidays be disgustingly joyful,

--Wildcat Rock Machine

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Golf Jacket Christmas Ornament

Sterling Glass Golf Jacket Christmas Ornament Ridiculous Golf Item Of The Week

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My Worst Travel Moments of 2017

Travel isn’t only about the good times. Don’t be fooled by the perfect photos and smiling selfies — behind all the awesome times on social media are the times when you’re racing for a flight and terrified you’re about to miss it. The times when you’re sick as a dog and can barely drag yourself out of bed. The times when you’re lonely, missing good times at home. And the times when you’re frustrated at trying to order food that you end up at McDonald’s.

I like to write about those times every year because it’s a good reminder that travel is not a panacea to all of the issues in your life. If you have problems at home, the road could potentially make them worse. Some of my bad times?

In 2012, I got my credit cards hacked while in Portugal and Spain.

In 2013, I developed giant hives in Busan, South Korea, and it was nine months before they stopped popping up on a daily basis.

In 2014, I got head lice in New Orleans. Because clearly I am a small child.

In 2015, I got locked in a vestibule with a cockroach in Avola, Sicily, and had to call my Airbnb host to set me and my mom free.

And in 2016, I fell backwards and slammed my head on the bedpost in Passau, Germany, giving me my first concussion ever and necessitating a hospital visit in Munich.

2017 wasn’t one of my worst years, but plenty of shenanigans ensued along the way. Here are some of my bad times that I took with the good.

When a Piece of my Car Fell Off in Key Largo

For my second trip to the Keys this year, I was to fly into Miami and drive down to Key West before flying back. I picked up my rental car with no issues and drove through Miami for the umpteenth time that year.

Until the next day when I got to the drive-through Starbucks in Key Largo. Then I suddenly noticed a scraping noise everywhere I went.

As I pulled into a parking lot, looking for a good photography spot, a lady called out to me and pointed out that a piece of my car was dragging beneath the bumper. At that point I was about a mile from my guesthouse, so I decided to pop the plastic back into place as best I could and drive back.

It held, but soon enough it popped out again. I called the rental company. Their response? “We can get you a new car, but we’ll need to take you up to Miami and do it there.”

“I can’t come up to Miami,” I told them. “That’s three hours round-trip. I’m working. Why can’t you bring me a car?”

Turns out that was literally the only option.

After thinking about it carefully, I decided to tempt fate and borrow the guesthouse’s roll of duct tape. One of the guests insisted on helping me tape it up.

And wouldn’t you know — it held in place for two more hours, all the way to Key West.

I was terrified the whole drive, though. Never again!

The Chaotic Arrival in Russia

I’m glad I did the St. Peter Line Ferry to Russia, but I’m never doing it again. The main reason? It was completely disorganized and I had no idea what was going on. That didn’t compare to the arrival in Russia, though — it was utterly CHAOTIC upon arrival.

There were supposed to be lines at the arrival booth but everyone just swelled into a pile of lumps, pushing each other out of the way. Parents let their late arriving adult children cut ahead of others. I thought a fight would break out at one point.

And of course I ended up getting questioned for 20 minutes about my heavily worn passport filled with stamps. They were shocked that I planned to stay in Russia overnight. I had to point out that the ferry wa staying for two full days! At one point I didn’t think they were going to let me in at all.

And then I got in, and St. Petersburg was absolutely lovely…but I’m never coming by ferry again.

I will also say that my worst sleep of the year was on the St. Peter Line Ferry. Nothing like trying to sleep in what feels like an undersized twin bed as springs dig into your back and “Y.M.C.A.” blares from the nightclub right above your room…

Killing My Computer in Vail

After five years with one computer, I knew it was time to upgrade soon. Even so, I wasn’t ready for the decision to be made for me against my will.

While at my hotel in Vail, I lifted up the lid to the water bottle, forgetting that it had water in it, and it leapt out and splashed across my keyboard.

I freaked out. I turned it off, dried it out, let it evaporate. But 24 hours later, the top row of keys on the keyboard refused to work at all. And I couldn’t even get on my computer because it wouldn’t let me type my password.

The good news is that I was prepared for this and had the money saved up — even if I got it fixed, it was time for a new computer anyway. After consulting my friends in the Travel Blog Success group over which computer to get, I found a 13″ refurbished MacBook Pro and had it shipped to the Upper West Side store right away.

You know what else I bought? A silicone keyboard protector. Now that lives on my keyboard 24/7 just in case another spill is in my future.

Almost Being Late Back to the Cruise in St. Maarten

(Yes, I’m using this photo for the third time in two weeks. I can’t write about St. Maarten without sharing this photo!)

I like to be early. I like to leave extra time. For me, one of the worst feelings in the world is feeling like I’m going to be late for a flight.

So when the bus dropped me in Maho Beach and I asked about return buses, an the locals said, “It comes when it comes,” I thought I would have to leave extra early to get back on time, just in case.

But then I decided to loosen up. See more of those amazing take-offs and landings before being forced to return to the ship.

Which seemed okay…until I got a cab and the roads were filled with bumper-to-bumper traffic.

St. Maarten, at least on the Dutch side, is basically one main road. If that road is stuck, everything is stuck. And when the ride that took 20 minutes on the way there took closer to an hour on the way back, as time clicked closer and closer to the time that THE CRUISE WAS SCHEDULED TO LEAVE, I began to full-out panic.

My passport was on board. What would I do?! How long would they hold the boat for me, just in case?! When the hell would I get my stuff back? Where would they even send it?! My blood pressure was through the roof.

It was just after the time when I got back on board. God, I was relieved to make it back on time. I practically kissed the crew.

I later found out there had been a regatta that day, hence the traffic. And everybody had been caught up in the same gridlock as us, though the tour groups to Maho Beach had left much earlier as a precaution.

Never again, NEVER AGAIN, am I cutting it that close.

When I Got Attacked by Russians Online

Definitely the worst tech headache this summer was when my site got attacked by Russian networks. And I wasn’t the only one — some of my blogging colleagues were hit as well. Just like the DNC!

Basically, they were sending tons of shitty traffic to my site, trying to overload it. This also temporarily halted my display income as the traffic was so low quality.

Basically, it took a LONG ASS TIME for it to be fixed. But I will give credit where it’s due — it was the team at Sucuri who finally figured out how to block the traffic. If you’re a blogger, I highly recommend their services. It just costs $9.99 per month.

Additionally, today my site is hosted with Performance Foundry. While I’ve used different hosting companies for different reasons over the years, I’m now glad to be with PF because They Can Handle The Bad Shit and I get to worry a lot less.

Not Knowing How to Start My Car in Oulu

I haven’t had a car since 2008, when I moved from Somerville to downtown Boston. Since then, the only times I drive are when I’m home visiting my parents or when I rent a car for a trip, so it always surprises me when I see new high-tech features in cars.

Some of them are great (I love the lumbar support button in my dad’s new car!). And some are bewildering. Like trying to turn it on in the first place when there isn’t even a slot for the key. How does that work?!

It was the morning after my all-night party at the World Air Guitar Championships in Oulu, Finland, and I had to pick up my rental car and drive five hours across the country to Kuopio and then Porosalmi.

It was hard enough finding the right place — the rental office wasn’t open that day, so I had to be driven to a different location. The rental car employee dropped me off at the car with the keys and left.

I loaded up the car. I adjusted the seat and mirrors. And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to turn on the car. HOW?! There was a button, and it definitely turned things on, but it was quiet and didn’t seem to be working — isn’t this how hybrid cars were now?

After fifteen minutes, I was nearly in tears. Nothing was turning the car on.

Finally, an older woman came out of a nearby apartment building and I begged her to help me. She pointed out the obvious — I was supposed to step on the break while simultaneously pushing the ignition button. The engine roared to life.

“Kiitos. Thank you so much,” I told her. “You’ve saved me.”

“You’re from America?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “New York.”

“My daughter lives in Houston.”

And just for the record, that’s the Finnish equivalent of a deep, intimate conversation. I love that introverted country.

Every Minute I Wasted on the Landmark Forum

Have you heard of the Landmark Forum? Google it and you’ll find people calling it a cult.

I haven’t written about the Landmark Forum in depth, and I’m still wrestling with whether I should write about it in detail. Maybe someday I will.

It’s a personal development seminar. I ended up there because a friend who had done the Forum invited me to do it. It had changed her life and she thought it could change mine, too.

As the days passed (it was a four-day event), soon it became clear that this wasn’t working for me. I wasn’t having the breakthroughs that other people seemed to be having. The “big revelation” was a phrase you’d expect an emo kid to scrawl on his biology book when he was trying to be edgy.

But that wasn’t all.

What brought me over the edge was when the instructor told a story about how they welcomed a child molester to the Forum with open arms. And apparently when a young woman brought in the relative who sexually assaulted her repeatedly as a child, everyone was cheering because he had made this decision to change his life.

I immediately went up to the microphone and let loose. How could you let a child molester into a room full of sexual abuse survivors? Did they call the police? How could this possibly be framed as a good thing? Did they want his money so much that it didn’t matter that he was a child molester, sitting amongst them?

For the first time in three days, the instructor was caught off guard.

After I spoke, the Landmark Forum offered me a full refund of $695.

I think that says it all.

For the record, I don’t think the Landmark Forum is a cult. However, I do think that they use many techniques that cults use. They instill a belief that everyone who hasn’t gone through the Forum will never be as good or evolved as people who have gone through the Forum. Every minute is controlled with almost no downtime; you have assignments to do on your breaks and you work from 9 AM to 10 PM or later. All doubts that attendees express are swiftly countered and shut down by the instructor. They encourage you to recruit everyone you know to join the Forum. There are several other courses afterward that they encourage you to keep taking, all of which cost additional money.

And while they make it seem like everyone loves it, the people above in the photo attended my Forum and didn’t get anything out of it, either. The defining mood was, “What the hell did I just spend $695 on?” It felt amazing to confess to each other that we were creeped out by the whole thing.

So yeah. Besides the friend who recruited me, I have several other friends who have done the Forum in various cities and countries and it did work for them. And they’re all great people, smart people, educated people. But the more I think about it, the more I realize those people share a number of personality traits that I personally do not have.

So would I recommend it? No, I would not. But who knows? Maybe it would work for you. I wouldn’t recommend you spend $695 on as big a gamble as that, though. And if you go, for God’s sake, don’t welcome a pedophile with open arms.

 

The Weird Ass Table Next To Ours in the Hamptons

On a day trip to the Hamptons with my friends Beth and Colleen, we decided to get dinner at Almond in Bridgehampton. The food was fantastic (their lobster pasta was one of the best dishes I’ve had all year) but the experience was ruined by this odd experience with the table next to ours.

They were a bunch of gay guys our age, several drinks into their night. One of them turned to Beth and said something like, “Sorry our friends are drunk,” and Beth said something back like, “Oh, that’s fine with us.”

They MUST have misheard her, because there’s no other explanation for what happened next.

The men suddenly started glaring at us, saying rude things about us to each other. Then one leaned over and said, “You’re in town for the weekend? Oh, that’s CUUUUUTE. I live here.”

What the fuck?!

Here’s the thing: I felt afraid, and I think my friends may have felt the same way. We were frozen, looking at each other with giant faux smiles on our faces, afraid of what they would say if we said anything. And you might think that there was no reason to be afraid, that we were in the middle of a restaurant, that these guys were gay anyway and it couldn’t possibly lead to sexual assault. It wasn’t about sex — it was about power, just as all sexual harassment and assault is. These men thought we didn’t belong in their space and they wanted us to be afraid of them.

Every time we talked or laughed, the guys would swivel their heads in our direction, angry expressions on their faces. One guy even slammed his head on our table and pretended it was an accident.

The men left the restaurant when our entrees came and as soon as they were gone, we exploded. What was their problem? Why would you treat strangers like that? What did they think Beth had said? I still have no idea what happened all these months later.

A Day of Delay Hell in Charlotte

On the way back from Asheville, I had a layover in Charlotte. That two-hour layover turned into ten hours and counting. And it wasn’t an ordinary layover — there were thunderstorms in New York, so they kept delaying it by an hour, another hour, yet another hour, every hour, then canceling the flight, then delaying the rebooked flight. If I had known, I would have gone out into Charlotte to explore! Hell, I would have taken a later flight from Asheville!

Charlotte is not the greatest airport in which to be stranded. Less healthy food, far less bookstores, yet a lot more fast food. If you end up stranded there…yeah, good luck with that.

I was supposed to be home by 4:00 PM but I didn’t get home until 1:30 AM. Worst transit day of the year.

Finding Out I Had to Move

On the last day of November, hours before I was to fly to Vegas, my landlady told me that she was selling the building and I had to move.

This was the last thing I wanted to hear. I adore my apartment and wanted to continue living there for at least another year or two. Plus, not only is moving in New York annoying and expensive, but it’s even tougher for self-employed people. New York tenants have a lot of rights, so to counter that, they make it difficult for people to rent in the first place. For example, you need to prove income of 40 times the monthly rent in a year. And even if you make that much, a lot of landlords are skittish about renting to self-employed people.

I was so nervous, I didn’t eat or sleep for a week. I got stress headaches. I had no appetite. I couldn’t do anything at the gym.

That said, I was able to remedy the situation quickly. I set up apartment viewing appointments within an hour of the news. I applied for the second apartment I saw. And thankfully, after a lot of work and sleepless nights and sending every proof of income that I had, I was accepted into a new apartment extremely close to where I live now.

The new place is great. It’s not a brownstone anymore (now that I know how easily brownstones can be sold out from under you, I’m a bit over brownstone living), but it’s a much bigger, gut-renovated apartment with tons of closet space and a separate kitchen. Moving day is January 15, and I can’t wait to share my new place with you.

A Sexually Harassing Driver in St. Kitts

Picture this: you get off your cruise ship in St. Kitts for the day. You decide to eschew a shore excursion and instead hire a driver for the day. This will give you a chance to explore and take all the photos you need without having to confirm to a schedule.

So you step into the driver’s van. And before he’s even left the parking lot, he’s leaning out the window and yelling sexual things at a woman walking by. She ignored him. I practically had flames bursting out of my ears.

“But it’s the Caribbean.”

It’s not just the Caribbean. It’s fucking everywhere.

THE RAINDROP CAKE WAS A LIE

I know a lot of New York/Instagram/Buzzfeed food trends are overblown, but nothing was as bad as the raindrop cake, which I sampled at Smorgasburg in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. I had been seeing this for weeks: it was a clear orb, yet something that you ate like a cake.

Beth and I decided to try them: one clear, one purple. We each forked over eight dollars, hoping that this would be worth it.

We sampled them. And…they were essentially plain sugary gelatin.

I felt like an idiot. How had I built this dish up so much in my mind? Did I really think it would be as cool as the Instagrams and Buzzfeed articles claimed? HOW FAR HAD MY MIND GONE IN THE NAME OF EATING TRENDY FOOD?

There is so much good food at Smorgasburg. I especially recommend the fries from Bolivian Llama Party. But make sure you avoid the raindrop cake.

What were your worst travel moments of the year?

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Mermaid Golf Christmas Ornament

December Diamonds Putter Mermaid Ornament Ridiculous Golf Item of the Week

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Golf Shoe Christmas Ornament

Golf Shoe Christmas Ornament Ridiculous Golf Item of the Week

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Golf Poetry A Psalm Of The Links

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Ho Ho Ho Golf Ornament

Ho Ho Ho Golf Ornament Ridiculous Golf Item of the Week

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The Longest Night; The Shortest Day

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Tom Bendelow On Building A Golf Course

Tom Bendelow On Building A Golf Course Tom Bendelow has sometimes been called the “Johnny ... Read more.

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How to Start a Podcast – a Beginner’s Guide

How to Start a Podcast – a Beginner’s Guide

In the past three years, podcasting went from an obscure medium to a mainstream tool for listening to audio content. Personally, I’m so jazzed. I’ve been a podcast fan fo eva. The more podcasts there are, the more awesome content I get to listen to.

When I started my show last year I was totally overwhelmed … TGFG (thank god for google) found tons of information. In fact, it was all too much. I didn’t need a list of 30 possible microphones or the pros and cons of 12 different audio editors.

I needed the guide I’m creating now. The quick and dirty. The audio n00bz guide to starting a podcast. My goal was to have the audio be good, but I didn’t care if it was perfect. I love the production on Gimlet Media/This American Life kind of shows, but I knew that wasn’t my goal. I wanted an easy way to get started to see if it was even something I’d be good at.

So that’s why I’m creating this guide. It’s an easy(ish) way to get started using all the tools and techniques I’ve learned over the year. Sometimes it’s nice to learn from people who are only a couple steps ahead, not miles and miles. So that’s where I’m coming from. I’m a year in, and totally loving it. I also get asked for tips and equipment recommendations all the time so here it all is in one lovely post.

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So glad I found this podcast starter guide
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Step 1: Choose a Format

So you want to make a podcast. Congrats! To me, podcasting feels like the wild west. The way that blogging did in 2011 and the way that Instagram felt in 2014. If you’re starting in 2018 you’re still pretty ahead of the curve. Even if you’re reading this years later, I’m a big believer that it’s never too late to start.

The first step to figuring out what kind of show you want is to create is to nail down the format.

Solo show

This means it’s just you on the mic. The pros of this is that you don’t have to worry about scheduling or timing for anyone else. This gives you a lot of flexibility when it comes to creating your content.

It’s difficult because you have to be really compelling if you’re alone. Talking into a mic by yourself also takes some getting used to. It’s not like writing, where you can think while you create. You’re on the spot. If you already create really compelling solo video content then you’ll be able to nail this one.

I find the solo is great for someone with a lot of interesting ideas and actionable tools. You also need to have a ton of ideas because you can’t always rely on bouncing off someone else.

Interview

This is probably one of the most popular types of shows out today. For an interview show, you pick a general theme then invite guests onto the show and ask them questions about themselves and your general field.

The pro of this format is that it’s easy to create content because you’re asking questions from experts or interesting people. It’s easier to build chemistry and there are a lot less awkward moments and pauses when you are feeding off someone else’s energy.

The cons are that this type of show is pretty saturated. You have to have a pretty interesting concept or style to really break out in this area. It can also be difficult to find guests and there are a lot of logistics in scheduling guests.

Q & A

Another style of show is the Q&A. This is where you get questions from your audience and either you by yourself or you and a co-host answer the questions. This is a great format if you have a large audience and naturally get a lot of questions.

It’s a little harder if you’re just building an audience and don’t have a ton of questions to answer or ways to have people ask you questions.

Journalism/Storytelling

This is one of the more difficult styles of podcast and usually requires a team and a group of experienced audio producers. I put this one on the list just so you know what the different formats are but I wouldn’t suggest this for beginners.

Examples: Serial, This American Life, Reply All

Fiction

This is also a more difficult format to pull off as a beginner because it requires not only storytelling skills but actors and experienced audio engineers. If you’re in an acting community and want to do readings of shows this could be an interesting way to connect with audiences. Otherwise, I’d steer clear unless you have a solid plan and/or team of people with you.

2. Get the Equipment

I think a lot of people are overwhelmed by podcasts because they think there’s a ton of technical expertise and equipment needed. I found that it was actually pretty easy to set things up. I’m writing this guide from my experience as a Mac user and can’t speak to the PC tools and resources out there.

Audio Editing Software: Garageband

This comes with all Macs. There are tons of great tutorials on youtube for editing in Garageband. I will say I was able to teach myself really quickly how to use the software because it’s pretty intuitive and drag and drop.

Microphone: Yeti Blue *

This is the microphone I started with. I love it because you can change the settings to just record your own voice or if you’re doing an in-person interview there is a setting for two people. It does a great job at just recording your voice and it doesn’t pick up a ton of the background noise, which I love. I have a loud old fridge that kicks on all the time during interviews and it only grabs my voice. This is an awesome first mic.

Headphones *

You probably already have a solid pair of headphones to plug into your mic so you can hear the levels, but if not here are some that I like.

Skype

I record all my interviews using Skype. It’s free and my guess is you probably already have it on your computer.

Ecamm Recorder

This is the tool I use to record the audio from the Skype call. It saves as an .mov file then you convert it to an .mp3 then drag that file into Garageband to edit.

3. Choose a Name

Naming anything can be really tough. It feels crazy important at the beginning. I will say, a name is just a name. For example, the word “Google” didn’t mean anything until it became the brand that Google is. It’s more important to have a great brand than the perfect name.

If you already have a blog there are pros and cons of naming your show the exact same thing. The pro is that it’s easy to remember and it’s consistent with the rest of your show. The con is that often the podcast is a unique platform that is a compliment to your show, versus a repeat of the rest of your content. For example, my business and blog is In it 4 the Long Run. I chose to use the title of The Chasing Joy Podcast because I felt it sounded more like a show and captured more of the energy and theme of the show.

Some general rules of thumb:

• Try to pick something unique
• Keep to around four words or less
• You don’t need the words “podcast” or “show” in the title
• Choose words that aren’t already in super popular shows so you come up when people search for you

4. Create a Show Description

Once you know the format, theme, and name of your show you’ll need a two to three sentence description of your podcast. This will be used in the iTunes description and also it will be useful to have when you’re pitching guests or promoting the show.

To create a compelling description make sure to include:

• Topics the show covers
• Who the show is made for
• How the show helps those people
• How often listeners can expect new episodes
• 5. Create a Cover Art Graphic

For the different podcast players like iTunes, you’ll need a graphic for your show. Rule of thumb: keep it simple and legible. Now is not the time to create something super intricate. Make sure the title is really easy to read at a small size. Stick to one or two main colors that will pop out on a long list of shows. If it’s a picture of you, try to have a really clean, simple, one-color background. If you don’t know how to create graphics in photoshop don’t be afraid to outsource. You can use sites like fiverr to get an affordable design.

6. Choose intro or theme music

At the beginning of each episode, you’ll want a consistent quick intro that explains to new listeners what your show is all about. You can use the show description you wrote, or something even quicker. You’ll also want some catchy music to go along with the intro. Make sure the music you use is royalty free or that you buy the full license. There’s plenty of free music out there.

7. Create your first 2-4 episodes

Before you sign up to host your podcast online, I would recommend creating two to four episodes first. You might find that after three, your heart just isn’t in it. It’s great to have a couple shows in your queue because podcasting more than any medium relies on consistency. You just have to show up. People don’t have a ton of patience when the show the subscribed to doesn’t land in their feed when it was supposed to.

8. Set up Hosting

Just like a blog, a podcast has to be hosted on the internet before it’s picked up and broadcasted through a podcast app. Your host is where you’ll upload finished episodes and add descriptions and titles. Your host will create a podcast rss feed which can be picked up by podcast players.

Once you choose a podcast host and create your show, you’ll add the name, show description, iTunes category and graphic.

The host I use is Libsyn. I’ve been really happy with Libsyn so far. It’s the only host I’ve had so I have nothing to compare it to. The analytics are good, they make uploading easy, and there are a lot of resources for podcasting on their site. Again, it is the only host I’ve used but I’m a fan and haven’t had any problems during the year I’ve been podcasting.

Get Libsyn Hosting

9. Submit Your Podcast to iTunes

So you’ve picked the name, the theme, you’ve recorded your first couple episodes, you have a graphic, you’ve set up hosting and you’ve uploaded your episodes. You’re ready! The next step is to submit your show to iTunes.

To submit to iTunes go to: http://ift.tt/1TYKWiF

It will ask for your RSS feed which (if using libsyn) will be: http://YOURSHOWSLUG.libsyn.com/rss

It usually takes a couple days to have your show accepted. When you do, bust out your biggest happy dance because it means you’re a podcaster!

If you are looking to start a podcast and want more help I offer podcast coaching. Email me georgie[at]init4thelongrun.com if you’d like set up a session.

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Taylor’d Milestones Reserve Whiskey Glass

Taylor’d Milestones Reserve Whiskey Glass The Taylor’d Milestones Reserve Whiskey Glasses are designed to enhance ... Read more.

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Up To 60% Off Watches – Last Minute Gifts

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Golf Poem: A Song Of Four Seasons

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Golf Ornaments On My Christmas Tree

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Powerstroke Golf Fitness Attachment

  Powerstroke Golf Fitness Attachment This is an interesting product. It’s a golf grip on ... Read more.

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A masterclass with Stephen Hough

I recently discovered this interesting selection of videos (which appear on YouTube) highlighting masterclasses given by eminent British pianist Stephen Hough. They were recorded in last year (2016) at the Aspen Music Festival and School in the USA.

Featuring a wide range of standard repertoire (Including Reflect dans l’eau by Debussy (Images Book 1), the third and fourth movement of Sonata No. 2 in B flat minor Op. 35 by Chopin, and first movement of Sonata in A flat major Op. 110 by Beethoven), they are performed by students at the school. As so often found when observing public classes, there is much to learn and absorb from each one. I hope you enjoy them.

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My Publications:

For much more information about how to practice piano repertoire, take a look at my two-book piano course, Play it again: PIANO (Schott). Covering a huge array of styles and genres, 49 progressive pieces from approximately Grade 1 – 8 level are featured, with at least two pages of practice tips for every piece. A convenient and beneficial course for students of any age, with or without a teacher, and it can also be used alongside piano examination syllabuses too.

You can find out more about my other piano publications and compositions here.

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My Favorite Reads of 2017

I outdid myself reading in 2017. Not only did I complete the PopSugar 2017 Reading Challenge in September, but I’ve read 70 books as of press time, well beyond the standard book per week!

I also bought my apartment’s first bookshelf at the beginning of the year. At the time I had only three books to put on it (I’ve been doing the Kindle thing for years). Less than a year later, it’s nearly full. Good thing I’m moving to a new apartment with a lot of space for more bookshelves…

This was also my first year enjoying new reads from Book of the Month, a US-based service that allows you to choose a new hardcover book each month for far less than what you’d pay retail. As a result, I read more current books than I ever have before!

The big theme in the books I read this year was the relationship between children and their parents. Joy and love. Abuse and neglect. Death and grief. Wanting to spread your wings and wanting to honor your heritage. This year had all of those topics in abundance.

For 2017, I’ve decided to put my favorite reads of 2017 into two categories: books published in 2017 and books published prior to 2017. It’s important to note that it was SO hard to narrow down 70 books to a top 16 or so, and this list omits several books that I enjoyed wholeheartedly but didn’t make the top tier. Here we go!

My Favorite Book of 2017: Pachinko by Min Jin Lee

This sweeping saga tells the story of several generations of Koreans living in Japan. A young girl named Sunja becomes pregnant by her older married lover; a tuberculosis-stricken minister offers to marry her and bring her to Japan with him. So begins the saga of the Baek family, who, like all Koreans in Japan, were treated as second-class citizens in various ways through the present day. Sunja’s sons and their families try to build better lives for themselves, but they can’t outrun the prejudices that run deep throughout Japan.

“Sunja-ya, a woman’s life is endless work and suffering. There is suffering and then more suffering. It’s better to expect it, you know. You’re becoming a woman now, so you should be told this. For a woman, the man you marry will determine the quality of your life completely. A good man is a decent life, and a bad man is a cursed life—but no matter what, always expect suffering, and just keep working hard. No one will take care of a poor woman—just ourselves.”

What I loved so much about Pachinko is that it introduced me to a world I know nothing about. I had no idea that Koreans were treated so poorly — it so closely mirrors the treatment of African-Americans over history, with the big difference being that it was often impossible for Japanese and Koreans to be differentiated. I loved the themes; I loved how it explored family and duty and the things you can’t change. Beyond that, I loved how cinematic the book was — some of the scenes are etched across my mind, like when Sunja unsteadily began selling kimchee in the market for the first time.

Why is Pachinko at the top of my list? It was so layered and detailed, telling a beautiful and original story in a beautiful and original way, yet universal enough that we can all relate to it. I can’t recommend it more highly.

My Runner-Up Favorite Book of 2017: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Starr is a teenage girl living in two worlds: her home with her family in the inner city, and the elite private school in a wealthy suburb where she is one of few black students. It’s difficult enough that she is constantly weighing different personalities and actions depending on who she’s with, but then the worst happens: she is driving home from a party with her friend Khalil and he is shot to death by a police officer for no reason. Her life is thrown into turmoil as she and the nation try to navigate this senseless killing.

“I’ve seen it happen over and over again: a black person gets killed just for being black, and all hell breaks loose. I’ve Tweeted RIP hashtags, reblogged pictures on Tumblr, and signed every petition out there. I always said that if I saw it happen to somebody, I would have the loudest voice, making sure the world knew what went down.
Now I am that person, and I’m too afraid to speak.”

I have no words for how much I fiercely loved this book. The characters are fantastic and Starr’s family is probably my favorite family I’ve ever read in literature. It’s being turned into a film and I cannot wait to see it. And it’s an incredibly important subject.

But more than that, every American needs to read this book. I fully believe that literature can teach compassion, and this is just the kind of book that can change opinions and lives, particularly those of children growing up in racist environments. I’m trying to put it into as many hands as possible, and it made me so happy when a friend who teaches high school English decided to assign it to her students! Please, read this book and pass it on to everyone you know.

Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk by Kathleen Rooney (2017)

This delicious novel is a love letter to an amazing woman who climbed to the top of her field and made New York her home. Lillian Boxfish is based on Margaret Fishback, the Macy’s employee who at her heyday in the 1930s was the highest paid female copywriter in America. The book takes place on the last night of 1984, when 85-year-old Lillian goes for a solo walk around her beloved New York at a time when the city was gripped by crime and the AIDS crisis. The book flashes back from 1984 to other parts of her life, chronicling her professional and personal moments.

“We had one of those Friday dates that turned into an entire weekend, and by the end of it, I loved him so much my larynx ached. Vulnerable love, incorrigible love. Love in which he was both the nausea and the sodium bicarbonate.”

This book is a treat if you’re an independent woman, a writer, a walker, a New Yorker, or a lover of words. I identify as all five of those things, so you can see why I liked it so much! But beyond that, I fell in love with the language of this book. I think it’s absolutely remarkable and that’s what really elevated the book to the next level.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jennings Reid (2017)

In the hands of a lesser author, this would have been a forgettable read about a faux movie star’s exploits; in the hands of Taylor Jenkins Reid, this novel is a starling examination of humanity behind the celebrity. In the book, Evelyn Hugo, legendary movie star of the 1960s, tells an unknown magazine writer that she’s chosen her to write her authorized biography after her death; throughout the book, she chronicles the secrets surrounding her seven husbands and answers the question: who was the love of her life?

“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘you’re safe with me’- that’s intimacy.”

I actually read this book in a single day — I could not put it down. I’m not going to give anything away, but this book goes in a very different direction than what you’d expect, especially for a character with many parallels to Elizabeth Taylor. Each husband was unique and had a specific purpose. I finished the book feeling grateful for the world we live in today.

The Power by Naomi Alderman (2017)

Taking place in the present day, this dystopian novel examines what would happen if gender dynamics were suddenly, abruptly switched. Teenage girls suddenly realize they have the power to send electrical shocks from their fingers and inflict pain. They also have the ability to wake up this ability in adult women. Over the course of a decade, the world changes: boys dress like girls to appear tougher, Americans vote a violent woman for governor because they’re afraid of her male rival’s weakness, and men no longer feel safe walking the streets at night.

“It doesn’t matter that she shouldn’t, that she never would. What matters is that she could, if she wanted. The power to hurt is a kind of wealth.”

This is one of the best dystopian novel concepts I’ve read in a long time. It really makes you think critically about gender dynamics. If women had this power, would we really say things like, “Of course women are naturally more violent than men, they had to protect their babies”? On top of that, it’s an entertaining novel. I especially liked that it focused on several different points of view, similarly to World War Z.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (2017)

This novel tells the story of two families in Shaker Heights, Ohio — a well-to-do family with teenage kids, and a mother and teen daughter to whom they rent an apartment. The mother and daughter have lived a bohemian, transitory lifestyle and are now looking to settle down. Almost everyone in the other family becomes fascinated with them. Then when a white couple tries to adopt a Chinese-American baby under controversial circumstances, the town and families go to war with each other.

“Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too. They start over. They find a way.”

This is the second book of Ng’s that I’ve read — the first was Everything I Never Told You — and while I liked her first novel, I adored this one. The character dynamics were so interesting (though I did think one relationship was unrealistic) and I loved the unraveling of the mystery surrounding the mother and daughter. I also have to say that this book was biting in its portrayal of a white woman who thinks she’s doing everything she can to fight racism and inequality, then doesn’t stand up when it actually counts.

Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward (2017)

Jojo is a kid growing up poor in Mississippi with his beloved grandfather, dying grandmother, baby sister, and drug-addicted mother. His mother, who is black, takes him on a road trip to get his father, who is white, out of prison upstate. While at the prison, where his grandfather was once incarcerated, Jojo meets the ghost of an imprisoned child who follows him home.

“Growing up out here in the country taught me things. Taught me that after the first fat flush of life, time eats away at things: it rusts machinery, it matures animals to become hairless and featherless, and it withers plants…since Mama got sick, I learned pain can do that too. Can eat a person until there’s nothing but bone and skin and a thin layer of blood left. How it can eat your insides and swell you in wrong ways.”

Sing, Unburied, Sing won the National Book Award for fiction this year, and even though I was rooting for Pachinko in the competition, Jesmyn Ward definitely deserved it (her second National Book Award!). This book blends themes of family, race, poverty, and addiction with mysticism and magic, creating a novel unlike anything I’ve ever read. I love what she said at the awards ceremony: “I wanted to write about the experiences of the poor and the black and the rural people of the South so that the culture that marginalized us for so long would see that our stories were as universal, our lives as fraught and lovely and important as theirs.”

Bleaker House: Chasing My Novel to the End of the World by Nell Stevens (2017)

Nell Stevens got her MFA at Boston University, which gives their students a three-month writing fellowship anywhere in the world. A lot of students go to Europe or Southeast Asia, but Stevens was determined to write in a distraction-free environment. So where did she choose to go? The Falkland Islands. In winter. In fact, she was alone on her very own island. She chose to go there because she thought she’d be able to write in that environment; however, things did not go to plan. Instead of a novel, she wrote a memoir about how she failed at writing a novel.

“If I can teach myself the art of loneliness, then perhaps the art of writing will come more easily to me.”

I love reading memoirs about work, whether that work is being a chef, farmer, personal stylist, or something else altogether. And this book doesn’t shy away from the grind of trying to crank out a novel, particularly when living on only 1100 calories per day. I thought it was self-deprecating in all the right ways; in fact, this should be required reading for anyone about to undertake a major writing project.

Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood (2017)

To say Patricia Lockwood had an unusual upbringing would be a massive understatement: her father was a Catholic priest, a priest who loved jamming out on the guitar, being naked, and protesting abortion. He was a character and a half, and her other family members were nearly as crazy as him. The memoir takes place in the present day, when Lockwood and her husband moved in with her parents for several months to save money, but it’s sprinkled with anecdotes from her childhood.

“When we came home later, my father was wearing his most transparent pair of boxer shorts, to show us he was angry, and drinking Baileys Irish Cream liqueur out of a miniature crystal glass, to show us his heart was broken.”

I actually read several books of poetry and novels by poets this year, and what I love about poets like Lockwood is that they infuse such beauty and care into their prose as well. As a result, Priestdaddy is dense and requires a long time to read properly; I promise you it’s worth it. I guarantee another family like this does not exist in the country, and even if they did, they wouldn’t have a writer like Lockwood writing about them.

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders (2017)

The year is 1862 and America is weary, a year into the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln is shouldering the burden of the nation and mourning the death of his young son Willie. Over the course of one night, Lincoln returns to the family tomb several times to hold his son’s body. The tomb, however, is filled with spirits who have refused to cross on to the next world. The book is written like a play — the spirits argue, bicker, and spout gibberish, but all they know is that children are not supposed to stay there for long and the boy’s soul could end up trapped forever.

“What I mean to say is, we had been considerable. Had been loved. Not lonely, not lost, not freakish, but wise, each in his or her own way. Our departures caused pain. Those who had loved us sat upon their beds, heads in hand; lowered their faces to tabletops, making animal noises. We had been loved, I say, and remembering us, even many years later, people would smile, briefly gladdened at the memory.”

This is perhaps the most original concept of a book I’ve ever read. Who would ever dream of combining the tragedy of Lincoln’s family with the Tibetan concept of the holding place for souls in waiting? And who would fill it with crude and hilarious characters? This was a book that I had been looking forward to reading ever since I first heard of it, and to be honest, it took me a while to really get into it. But I will say this — without giving away any spoilers, this book has a great ending. It’s beautiful, it’s life-affirming, and it was the ending more than anything else that put the book on my best of 2017 list.

And now, my favorite books published prior to 2017:

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond (2016)

This is another book that every American needs to read. I think it’s the most important book about poverty in America that I’ve ever read. Desmond’s book is set in Milwaukee, the most racially segregated major city in America. It tells the stories of two landlords, one black and one white, and their low-income tenants. Through their stories, supplemented by factual information about poverty in America, it paints a portrait of how eviction and lack of affordable housing perpetuate poverty today.

“But equal treatment in an unequal society could still foster inequality. Because black men were disproportionately incarcerated and black women disproportionately evicted, uniformly denying housing to applicants with recent criminal or eviction records still had an incommensurate impact on African Americans.”

I learned so much from this book, and it’s a shame that our country is this way. For example, rents have been steadily rising over time, but benefits and the minimum wage have not, which has made it even more difficult for low-income Americans to find affordable housing. This often subjects them to unsafe living conditions. Something else I learned is that calling 911 can often be cause for eviction, so many victims of domestic violence often choose between their housing and their safety. It’s a horrible cycle and there’s so much that needs to be done in this country to remedy this terrible reality.

Born a Crime: Stories of a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah (2016)

Trevor Noah, host of The Daily Show, has arguably one of the most interesting backgrounds you could dream up. He was born in South Africa to a black mother and a white father during Apartheid, which made his very existence illegal. Trevor grew up in the shadows, always having to hide from authorities. But beyond that, his life was an incredible search for identity, touching on themes of growth through creativity, entrepreneurship, and protecting his mother in the face of domestic violence.

“The hood made me realise that crime succeeds because crime does the one thing the government doesn’t do: crime cares. Crime is grassroots. Crime looks for the young kids who need support and a lifting hand. Crime offers internship programmes and part-time jobs and opportunities for advancement. Crime gets involved in the community. Crime doesn’t discriminate.”

It’s an utterly fascinating read and it proves that Trevor Noah is no lightweight. If you’re one of the Daily Show fans who wishes Jon Stewart were still around, I think you should pick up this book and gain a new respect for Trevor Noah. And while there are a lot of dark times in the book, there’s also a lot of humor as well.

I listened to this book as an audiobook and I highly recommend you do the same. Trevor is a polyglot and he speaks so many languages, does so many accents, and imitates so many characters that the audiobook is a joy to hear.

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay (2014)

It might seem a bit strange to pick Bad Feminist over Gay’s memoir Hunger, which was released this year to great acclaim. I did read and enjoy Hunger, but I don’t think it belonged on my list of favorite reads. Bad Feminist, though? I feel like this book was written for me. Roxane Gay is easily my favorite new author of 2017, and I adore her voice as she covered so many topics: from the problematic films of The Help and Django Unchained to the world of competitive Scrabble to her own failures at being a “good feminist.”

“Don’t flirt, have sex, or engage in emotional affairs with your friends’ significant others. This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be said. That significant other is an asshole, and you don’t want to be involved with an asshole who’s used goods. If you want to be with an asshole, get a fresh asshole of your very own. They are abundant.”

What I love so much about Gay’s writing is that she’s able to put into words different issues with which I struggle. Like her column on HBO’s Confederate, which couldn’t have done better at explaining why this show is a really bad idea. All I can tell you is that I love her voice and I especially love when she’s able to cover so many different topics, which makes this essay collection the ideal introduction to her writing. (Also worth adding: Gay’s favorite book of the year was Pachinko, too!)

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (2016)

How do you make a beautiful life out of the most extenuating circumstances? That’s what the protagonist is forced to do in A Gentleman in Moscow. Count Alexander Rostov is sentenced to house arrest for the rest of his life in Moscow’s luxurious Metropol Hotel. How would you create a routine? How would you build relationships with people? And how would you weather the ensuing decades when tremendous changes are going on beyond your front door?

“After all, what can a first impression tell us about someone we’ve just met for a minute in the lobby of a hotel? For that matter, what can a first impression tell us about anyone? Why, no more than a chord can tell us about Beethoven, or a brushstroke about Botticelli. By their very nature, human beings are so capricious, so complex, so delightfully contradictory, that they deserve not only our consideration, but our reconsideration—and our unwavering determination to withhold our opinion until we have engaged with them in every possible setting at every possible hour.”

This book is so lush, and detailed, and cinematic. It feels like a Wes Anderson film, complete with the ornate surroundings and eccentric characters. The moment that made me fall in love was a scene when he and the restaurant staff miraculously procure all of the ingredients for bouillabaisse and make a meal for the ages. I think it’s impossible to read this book without falling in love with the Count a little bit. He’s a charmer, but there’s intelligence and kindness behind the facade.

The Mothers by Brit Bennett (2016)

When Nadia Turner is 17 years old, her mother’s suicide sets off a chain of events that impact her and her friends’ lives for years to come. There’s a relationship, a pregnancy, an abortion, breakups, engagements, affairs, and the domineering voices of “The Mothers,” the elderly parishioners of their black church in Southern California.

“Oh girl, we have known littlebit love. That littlebit of honey left in an empty jar that traps the sweetness in your mouth long enough to mask your hunger. We have run tongues over teeth to savor that last littlebit as long as we could, and in all our living, nothing has starved us more.”

What made this book among the most exceptional ones I read in 2017 was the cast of characters. I felt like a bit of a voyeur reading this book — I wanted to hold all the characters and stop them from making bad decisions! This book, more than anything, is about finding compassion and forgiveness. It’s about the ability to move on from your own past mistakes, to continue to live life in spite of people dragging you down, to rise above your worst impulses, and to forgive yourself and all those who hurt you in the end.

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (2012)

Cheryl Strayed is the author behind the Dear Sugar column, and I think she’s the greatest advice columnist of all time. Personally, I read her The Truth That Lives There column daily for months while getting up the nerve to leave an abusive partner. It’s still saved on my phone today. This book is a collection of Stayed’s columns, touching on everything from relationships and regrets to abuse and addiction.

“You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.”

Like The Mothers, this book is about compassion — and Strayed has infinite compassion for the readers who find themselves writing to her. Everyone is “Sweet Pea.” But beyond that, Strayed has had a wild life filled with a lot of pain and heartache, and she uses those experiences to tell stories that are secretly full of advice. Beyond that, she has such a gift with language. The concept of wondering whether your life would be better or worse if you didn’t have children, for example, is called “The Ghost Ship That Didn’t Carry Us.” How beautiful is that?

Takeaways from 2017’s Best Books

I really enjoyed focusing on the best books of 2017. I liked feeling current and knowing at least half the books that ended up on “Best of 2017” lists. However, there was also a lot of pressure to keep up, and I didn’t enjoy that part. If I couldn’t keep up with all of them, there’s no way anyone who has to make a living and/or shower regularly can keep up with all of them.

I am dumbfounded at some books that get sweeping praise. None more so than Gabriel Tallent’s My Absolute Darling, which I thought was grossly unrealistic, gratuitously graphic, and tremendously overrated. Yet people like Stephen King were calling it the book of the year. I’m still wondering if we read the same book.

It is possible to read far too much. Around July or so, I devoured four complete books in four days. My brain was fuzzy for the next week. Reading is great, but make sure it’s not the only thing in your life…

I can only do the PopSugar Reading Challenge every other year — but that doesn’t mean I can’t do a shorter challenge. Stay tuned for the beginning of 2016 for a much shorter, easier reading challenge that we can all do together!

What was your favorite book of 2017? Share away!

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