Chad D. Thomas: What I’ve Learned about Planning an Intimate DIY Wedding

What I’ve Learned about Planning an Intimate DIY Wedding

this post is created in partnership with Wedding Wire

Despite being engaged for over nine months, it still feels a little surreal to be planning a wedding. Who me? Getting married? Whaat? Mostly I’m really joyful and excited. I have a feeling it’s going to be such a special day, yet at the same time, it’s just one day at the beginning of a kick-ass marriage. Having both those things in mind has helped me put this whole thing in perspective.

I love what Chris (my fiancé) said to me, “it will probably be the best day of our lives up to that point, and then the next day will be.” At the end of the day I know I’d be more than happy getting married in a courthouse. I also know I’m going to love this celebration.

To be totally honest I haven’t done a ton of work yet on the details, yet I’m just not that worried. I know it will all work out as it should.

I wanted to share some of my thoughts and what I’ve learned through this process so far. Again, this is my own experience, which means it could overlap with yours or be totally different. My goal is to keep the conversation open and honest about planning a wedding, especially for folks who are doing something a little more low key and want to find some solace in the process.

Our Vision for the Day

Chris and I are just really excited to get married, the rest is kind of icing on the cake… or should I say crust on the homemade wedding pies (neither of us likes cake)? We’re both looking forward to celebrating this new chapter surrounded by people we love. Neither of us is super fussed about details (maybe to a fault).

I declared the vibe as “backyard boho” which basically means a classy DIY feel with lots of loving touches. I’m so excited that so many of my friends and family will be contributing to our day. I want everything to feel purposeful.

What I’ve Learned about Planning a DIY Wedding So Far

the Comparison is Real…

The only times I find myself really getting tripped up, anxious or overwhelmed by the whole process is when I start comparing our wedding to another couple’s. When I look at other people’s days, I get so overwhelmed by their details, the infinite possibilities and everything we won’t have. I start to feel like I’m going to regret missing something years down the line.

I think of it like when you were in school watching your classmates present their final projects and your heart sinks when you see them bring in something amazing to share. Suddenly your work seems woefully inadequate. The reality is that they’re probably thinking the exact same thing about either you or someone else. In this little classroom metaphor, had you been able to present in a vacuum and you knew that you had done an amazing job, worked hard and were proud of what you created, then you’d leave feeling really satisfied right? It isn’t until you start to compare that you feel the “not enoughness.”

It’s All Good

I’ve had to remind myself that a lot in this process. It’s ok if our wedding won’t look like my sister’s (who just got engaged) or that girl I follow on Instagram. It doesn’t make their day better nor does it make our day better. We’re two different couples. Two different love stories, partnerships, families, goals, and visions.

My little mantra for when I get caught up is, “it’s all good.” Sure, we want a really intimate, homemade, low key feeling. However, it doesn’t mean that a more traditional, elegant or larger event is a bad thing. It’s all good. Plus, the really key part of a celebration is the people. I could have the most stunning dress, perfect flowers, and flawless decor, but without Chris and our close friends and family, those details aren’t important. At the end of the day, it really is all good.

Choose Your inspiration wisely

Getting started, I assumed I’d rock a sweet Pinterest board full of tons of really clever cool ideas. Sorry, Pinterest, I love ya, but for weddings, I’ve been SO underwhelmed. It’s a lot of the same old stuff, nothing really interesting or useful.

That’s where Wedding Wire has come in such handy. The site has been really helpful for planning and inspiration. My favorite tool has been the checklist. As someone who isn’t into planning events or details, it’s been really helpful to have a tool like this to guide me. Plus, it’s really customizable so a lot of the things we don’t need, but we can take it off the to-do list easy.

We’re doing a lot of the details ourselves, but for the vendors we are looking into, they do have a really helpful directory of vendors you can sort through. I also adore their Instagram. I will say, where Pinterest has slacked, Instagram has totally delivered. I’ve started following a ton of wedding accounts and I think Wedding Wire is my favorite one. Again a lot of stuff isn’t really applicable to us, but it does get me excited.

Ditch the rules

This won’t come as a surprise to a lot of people coming from me, but don’t be afraid to ditch the rules. I’ve always been the girl who beat to the tune of her own drum and wedding planning has been no different. Chris is pretty similar in that respect, so we don’t mind ditching a lot of the rule book and traditions that don’t fit us.

This might sound obvious, but I had to come to this realization, your wedding can literally be whatever you want it to be, there are no wedding police. Sure I don’t know your family dynamics, but hopefully, they can understand that it’s not about them.

It’s ok to ditch the rules and traditions when you’re planning your wedding.
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Ignore Bad/Most Advice

If I took every piece of advice people have thrown out to us, our wedding wouldn’t look anything like us. I’m fully aware that advice comes from a really heartfelt place. People want you to learn from their wins and struggles, which I’m all about. At the same time, I know that advice needs to come with a lot of context. It doesn’t weigh on my mind unless it’s from someone who really knows me and Chris well. I feel like everyone and definitely, their mom has some kind of opinion on weddings. That’s wonderful. We just don’t need to pay attention to it in the planning process.

If you’ve been married I’d love to know what you remember most from that day. If it’s on the horizon I’m sending you all the love. I’m loving being engaged and I have a hunch I’m really going to love being married to Chris. Again, the wedding is just the icing on the cake (or ya, know homemade pies if you’re us).