Chad D. Thomas: BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

It's Friday, which means at some point Outside will probably publish my latest column, assuming it passes muster:

No no, that's passes muster.

Damn AI virtual photo editor.

Anyway as soon as they do I'll let you know when it happens.

Of course ,my last column was all about drop bars:

And my favorite guilty pleasure when it comes to writing this column is to peruse the enraged comments on Outside's Facebook:

This last batch was particularly amusing because of how many people got all hurt in the butt over that wet noodle of a Trump joke:

Logan Kirkpatrick Outside Magazine, this is just poor taste. This will only make the magazine lose more readers, definitely not a way to win any new ones. Be mature and keep your political biases to yourself or personal blogs. Stick to the magazine subject matter, otherwise you're shooting yourself in the foot.

It's hard to imagine a more gentle, politically neutral Trump reference. Is it really news to anybody that this guy tweets a lot? I mean, if I wanted to be politically biased I'd have said roadies neglect their drops like Trump neglects Puerto Rico, but notice I didn't go there.

But my favorite incensed commentary came from this reader:

Amanda Resch Exactly. Snob is getting old and can’t come to grips with it so he’s taking it out on all of us- his local trails suck and he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting- he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood. He can’t reach the drops anymore, so he writes an article on how drops are useless. Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices. RIP Bike Snob, it was good while it lasted.

Who left not one but two real humdingers:

Amanda Resch Poor Snob, he’s completely run out of ideas. This end of career flailing about is difficult to watch. Can someone please give him a time machine so he can go back to 2008 and
write about Craigslist fixies again?

Wow.

I certainly don't begrudge this person's right to disparage my work in a public forum, but I think it's only fair that I have the opportunity to respond. So please indulge me as I fact check her critiques point by point:

Snob is getting old... This is undeniably true. Aren't we all?

...and can’t come to grips with it I put forth that this is false. I think I'm embracing my age rather well. Not only am I totally cool with balding, but I also just had a colonoscopy. (Bonus: I finally found that valve extender I was looking for.) Also, I'm cool with all sorts of things now that used to make my head explode, like crooked saddles and pie plates, and even salmoning hardly registers with me anymore. (Though my newfound casual attitude could be because I finally got that valve extender out of my ass.)

his local trails suck So very false. The trails outside of New York City are great by any metric. I know this because I've been around. Speaking of which...

he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting Also false. Oh sure, it feels like that sometimes. After all, we all wish we could travel and ride more, don't we? But since starting this blog I've gone places and done rides I might never have otherwise. I've visited Australia. I've gone to Europe. I've ridden L'Eroica. I've been all over the United States. Singlespeed World Championships, riding with Tour de France winners (well, former Tour de France winners), Bicycling Editor's Choice confab, Rivendell ride... Certainly I'm traveling a little less now so I can look after the kiddies, but it looks like I'll finally get to ride L'Eroica California this coming spring, which is something I've been wanting to do for awhile. Oh, and also I live in New York City, which is pretty damn exciting in itself. And despite my child care responsibilities I seem to have ridden more since July than my detractor has all year, so perhaps I can teach her something about time management:

he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood Guilty as charged. People totally shouldn't ride around their neighborhoods. Instead they should use their cars for short trips. Also they should load suspension bicycles onto SUVs and spend more time driving than riding.

He can’t reach the drops anymore... So very false. Sure, I've mostly downsized to a 120mm stem from the 130mm I preferred in my racing days, but you can bet I'm still reaching for the drops like I'm at IHOP and it's the maple syrup.

Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices. Really, have you missed the whole Harvey Weinstein thing?

I think Amanda Resch could use a time machine back to 2008, she seems to have really enjoyed that fixie material.

Fortunately there's always Google, which is the next-best thing.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right great, and if you're wrong you'll see Inflate-A-Head.

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and pass the mustard.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) What does the other glove say?

--"Hella"

--"Hello"

--"Handlebar"

--"Wood"

2) How much for this watch?

--$8,000

--$80,000

--$800,000

--Free with a Scattante

3) "I am in the process of converting a bike from Shimano Dura-Ace 7900 to Ultegra 6870 DI2. I have the BT-DN110-1 internal battery, a EW-RS910 handlebar end junction, and the SM-BCR2 battery charger. I have used the E-Tube software to update the firmware on all of the various components and everything seems to be operating just fine. I am still waiting on a rear wheel that can carry the 11-speed cassette, so I do not actually have the bike on the road yet.

My question is, how do I make sure the synchro-shift functionality is completely disabled?"

--When you simultaneously push both shift buttons on one lever, the LED indicator lights on Junction A will tell you what is going on. They will first tell you the battery level by only illuminating the battery LED (in the proper color to indicate your battery level). If you have the option for Synchro shift, this will be followed by both lights simultaneously glowing or flashing. If the battery LED glows green and the “+-” LED glows red, with neither of them flashing, the bike is in Manual shift mode. If these green and red LEDs flash twice, then S1 shift mode is operational, and if they flash three times, the bike is in S2 shifting mode. If on the other hand, only the battery light glows and is not followed by both lights coming on, then your bike is not currently set up to even go into Synchro mode at all, and you are simply in Manual mode.

--ハリウッドの映画制作では、ヌードまたはセミヌードシーンでの生殖器の不用意な露出を避けるために、マーキンを俳優や女優が着用することができます。メルキンを適所に置いて、必要に応じて股の短いフラッシュを使用することができます。マッキンキンの存在は、俳優が不注意に「正面全体」ヌードを行うのを防ぎます。いくつかの契約では、特に乳首や性器を何らかの方法でカバーすることが求められています。
--Jargon is thus "the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group". Most jargon is technical terminology, involving terms of art or industry terms, with particular meaning within a specific industry.
--Dunno

4) I don't have time to go anywhere exciting.

--True
--False

5) Fill in the blank: these parents are deeply concerned about the threat that ______ traffic poses to their children.

--Car
--Truck
--Bus
--Bicycle