Monday, April 1, 2019

Warning: This Post Contains Exactly One (1) Incredibly Obvious April Fools' Gag

Good morning!

I am obviously America's foremost helmet troll:

(A helmet troll)

And as such it is recumbent upon me to write a column about The Great Trek Bicycle-Making Company's™ new Miracle Helmet®:


For best results, be sure to spraypaint yourself from head to toe:



Speaking of not seeing things that are right in front of you, on today's Bike Forecast I shared the following tweet from the NYPD 103rd Precinct:

It's a scientific fact that when you use the expression "Love 'em or hate 'em" about something it means you fucking hate that thing.  But yes, bicyclists and motorcyclists are very hard to spot when your head is lodged firmly in your own anal canal.

In much happier news (for me), Eroica California is just over the next pass:


Don't forget, if you're there too and you run into me, be sure to call "dibs" and I'll give you my bike after the ride.

On Saturday, the Nova Eroica is like an 80-something mile ride, and hopefully I don't fall apart too spectacularly as that will be the longest ride I've done since, well, last year's Eroica California.  However, I am slightly heartened by the fact that I totally "passed" my bicycle-cycling race in Central Park this past Saturday, clinging tenaciously to the rear of the pack like a bur on a shaggy dog's ass.  And after my anal-retentive Lycra-clad exploits on Saturday I donned the Jorts of Freedom for a chubby-tired recovery ride on Sunday:


And you know spring has sprunged when the snakes emerge:


Lest you think it's just some tiny thing I can assure you it was enormous, and here it is from another angle that should help give you a sense of scale:


Also, if you zoom in you can see it was most likely venomous, given the formidable fangs and the rattle:


And that concludes the April Fools' portion of the post.

from Bike Snob NYC https://ift.tt/2UehHkB
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