Monday, June 5, 2017

Just when you think Fred can't get any Fredlier...

I'm pleased to report that this past weekend I enjoyed an all-terrain bicycle ride on Ol' Piney:


And if you're one of the people who tweeted, emailed, or commented, YES I KNOW ABOUT THE FORK RECALL:


Not only do I know about it, but I've already received and installed the replacement fork, so there.

And what is it with the smug, gleeful, "I told you so!" tone people adopt when they're alerting you to recalls, anyway?  The company identified a possible issue and they took care of it.  It's not like GM failing to acknowledge a faulty ignition switch for 10 years.

By the way, in case you're wondering, it does seem like maybe the new fork is a bit less flexy than the old one, but then again I may totally be imagining it.

Anyway, lately I've been riding an all-terrain bicycle with only a single gear ratio, so it was a refreshing change to get on one with multiple gear ratios and voluminous tires--especially since I'm finally using said tires in accordance with the manufacturer's instructions:


Well almost anyway, since it's still only spring, but as far as I know nobody's selling a spring-specific tire yet.

This isn't to say I like one style of all-terrain bicycling better than the other, it's just that I like to alternate between shifty and non-shifty bikes, like running back and forth from the swimming pool to the hot tub.  There's also a misconception that riding a bike that doesn't shift is some form of punishment, which I wholly disagree with.  Really it's only punishment if you're doing it wrong.  And how do you do it wrong?  By riding someplace where it isn't fun to be on a bike that doesn't shift, which I never do.

No, when it comes to punishment you've got to look to the roadie set, who are constantly looking for new contraptions that take the joy out of cycling.  For example, remember PowerCranks?



I haven't seen these lately, but I don't know if it's because: 1) They're out of style; or B) I mostly avoid the Fred routes these days and scamper around on the dirt trails of suburbia.

Either way, I thought the PowerCrank was as sad as it got, but if one thing is true it's that you can never overestimate Fred's willingness to spend lots of money to make cycling less enjoyable.  To this end, meet the AIRhub, an expensive device that simulates the effect of binding bearings and/or brake rub:


The AIRhub is a road bike wheel with a resistance unit built into the front hub. The self-powered (no batteries or charging required) electromagnetic brake can can add up to 100 watts of resistance. A smartphone app controls the resistance. In addition to a manual resistance mode, the AIRhub will, when paired with a heart rate monitor or power meter, vary resistance to keep the rider in a set training zone.

Yep, you're reading that right.  It's a hub designed to slow you down.

So why would you want this?  Well, you wouldn't, unless you're a terminal Fred suffering from late-stage Weenie-itis:

Weird? Maybe. But it can be challenging to find rides tailored to your workout, especially if you live in an area lacking in challenging climbs. Or it could be a solution for riders that want to follow a training plan but still go out on casual group rides with friends. You could be putting out 300W while your friend rides along next to you at 200W.  You could even use it to turn your daily commute into an intense workout.

Oh please.  If you're that much of a weenie you don't have any friends.

So how much does Fred have to pay for some aftermarket retarding force?  Well, it's a bargain at just under $1,500:

Installing the AIRhub is as quick and easy as any front wheel: all you need is a tube and a tire. It's not cheap: the AIRhub sells for $1950 AUD (about $1460 USD.)

Though the real bargain is the FAQ on the company's website, which is both free and priceless:

I DON’T RACE WHAT ABOUT ME?

I find inner city commuting too short for training, the AIRhub works me so I'm sweaty when I get to work. Short, intense morning & evening sessions through the neighbourhood keeps me fit and healthy. Without the AIRhub, speeds would be unsafe or the intensity too low.

Usually people who commute by bike are trying to figure out how to arrive at work without being sweaty, which makes the AIRhub the equivalent of a device that allows you to shower without inadvertently washing your ass and crotch.  Also, if you don't race why the hell are you trying to turn your commute into a training session?  You suck, you'll always suck, and you need to get a grip before you do something you'll really regret, like actually taking up racing.

I FEEL A TAPPING. WHATS UP WITH THAT?

That means it’s working. It's normal for a light tapping to be felt when resistance is applied.

Yeah, no shit.  You just paid $1,500 for a broken wheel simulator, remember?

I KNOW IT WAS BUILT FOR ROAD RACERS, DOES IT WORK FOR TRIATHLETES TOO?

The AIRhub will work even better for Triathletes. More training in less time. It allows high quality training in the Aero position to become safe and easily achievable. No need to travel for miles to find safe roads. Long high intensity sessions can be done on a bike path.

Okay, stop and meditate on this for awhile: triathletes who spend thousands and thousands of dollars on aero gear are now purchasing $1,500 hubs that simulate the effects of riding bicycles with more drag.  Also, "travel(ing) for miles" is what most non-triathletes call "riding," an activity which has the effect of making you a better and stronger rider.

But sure, by all means ride the aero bike you can barely control through virtual molasses on the bike path and inconvenience normal people instead.

Of course, a much cheaper option would be to train on one of these:


The 700c GMC Denali Men's Road Bike is built around a lightweight aluminum road bike frame. You'll stop on a dime with the alloy calipers and brake levers, and the high-profile alloy Vitesse racing rims look as good as they perform. Shimano Revo shifters allow you to shift without taking your hands off the handlebars, providing safety and confidence. A Shimano derailleur completes the drive train for quick and smooth gear changes. Lastly, this road bike will help you stay hydrated with the included alloy water bottle cage.

But I suppose it doesn't have the same cachet.

Lastly, bike-baiting is back in style here in New York City, and you can read all about it on the Bike Forecast:


Now to do some resistance training by riding a loaded WorkCycles.



from Bike Snob NYC http://ift.tt/2qPWZo9

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